Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

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What did the homeless man give his friends for Christmas? More AIDS.

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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This is a joke

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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