How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why did the girl fall off a cliff? Because it was an Anti-Joke.

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I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

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why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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