Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

I just painted my nails. I have braces.

What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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