Whyd the girl fall of her bike? She rode over a curb

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

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fabien

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Womens rights

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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