What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

thumb_up thumb_down +29

That's not what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The Braves win the N.L. east

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You know what big feet mean? Big socks

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops