What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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if life gives you lemons...chuck them back and say i wanted muffins instead!!!!

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Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

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Wombat monkey juice.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

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Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

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why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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