Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

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there are rumors about monkeys liking bananas but that is a common misconception because if you take bananas divided by elephant times chalkboards you find that they like 0.9 lead from pencils that is aged from 1927

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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