What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

Why did hitler commit suicide He looked at his gas bill

What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

Juggling lions and breast feeding.

Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

Proof reading

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

What's black and white and red all over? Colors

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

Civil Rights.

Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

YEAH THEY DO.

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...