What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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where are you?

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javascript:alert("your own");

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops