Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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How did th-A fridge.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

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Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

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Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops