Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

How did th-A fridge.

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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