What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

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Hi

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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1. Whats the difference between an orange? 2. Finish your sentence asshole.

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Wheelchair high jump

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whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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yo mama's so fat!!!

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, you racist.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly 10 consecutive times in the head with a knife.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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