How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +47

When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

this sentence will not monkey banana pie

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Are you from Tennessee? Because I can tell by your accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops