Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Iggy Azalea

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69

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

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What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

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whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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So what do you guys wanna do?? Anything, I still have cancer..

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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