What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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A blind man sits down to read Anti jokes Whoops my bad

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A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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vbh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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