What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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i cant think of one.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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yo momma so fat that she's fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops