Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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Your mom.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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Mitt Romney.

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pickle juice?

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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lol

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

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What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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