What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

Shit!

Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

I had sex. Just kidding.

Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

How many cows say moo? All of them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...