What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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96

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Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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your father died

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Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? His mother threw a fridge at him

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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