What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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what do you watch ? a tv

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

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What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

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Welcome To Facebook

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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A. Your mamma is so stuiped she starved to death in a grocary store.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops