Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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the cast of the jersey shore

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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what do you watch ? a tv

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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A. Your mamma is so stuiped she starved to death in a grocary store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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