why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

http://logs.omegle.com/de4e4b0

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a ginger has a soul

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man rob a bank? Because he was poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops