Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

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womens rights to vote

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whats 2+2? 4

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A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

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What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

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knock knock whos there !!!!!.....WE.....ARE.......SPARTANSSSS.....!!!!!!

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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