69

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

your a towel.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you like this, it will have one extra like

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there aids

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

47

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops