What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

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Women's Rights.

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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