Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station . . .

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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gay marriage.

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

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Fiats

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Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

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What did one musician say to the other? "We should have gone to college."

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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What did the black man say to the other black man. We're both niggas.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

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why was the boy running? because his skin was burning off

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

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five high school freshmen get into a car on a Friday.They are too busy looking forward to the weekend that they speed into oncoming traffic and all die in a horrible collision.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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