Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

Knock knock, Come in...

How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

monkey sponge

A bold man said "well, here goes nothing!" Moments later, thats what happened

WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

If u wanna get high, smoke weed

what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

i tped this with my toiung. now i hve germs

Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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