What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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Roses are red Violets are blue i got one question Screw You

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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Children playing GTA......... what a world of rapists

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A snake walks into a bar

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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I went river dancing once. I fell in

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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american government

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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