Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Kelly Clarkson

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

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Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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Why? Because!

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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