What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How old are you? 20

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock who's there police

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

dead battery come on down

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hi corey

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops