Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does A duck smoke? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's after 9/11? 9/12

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

thumb_up thumb_down +30

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I am on a escalator.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

the cast of the jersey shore

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops