What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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Women's sports.

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Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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My thanks to those that thumb down my comment below, you have the possibilty to become one of my over 100.000.000 members, as long as you follow your heart, your own will, we got you covered. We got over 600.000 never members since last year, you are far from alone, thumb this comment up, leave a small comment, and I shall send one of my shadows to tell you more, or online if you prefer that, but then I would need your email address... ...As for your home address? Nah, already know it just let me know if you want a visit, but during my 6000 years on earth or so, I have yet to evolve to the point where I fully understand the full nature of computers, they are very recent to me. Yet only those that are willing to follow their hearts and enact their true hidden desires without shame, guilt, remorse, but instead with love and gusto, will find the answers among us. Soon my wings shall spread, and just like that, the world is ours! Moral: "Fuck Morals, would you believe me if I said they where in code? No they are not, the secrets are only within the shadows, and the Black Angel. Nero.

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Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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