What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...