what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

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Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

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If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

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a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops