If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

19th amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yolo mother f-uckaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops