Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

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what's brown and sticky? A stick!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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How old are you? 20

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knock knock who's there police

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

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hi corey

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dead battery come on down

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I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

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Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops