man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

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what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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what's red and blue? your heart

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What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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Q: Why did the rich Wallstreet business man move into Harlem? A: Because sex offenders weren't welcome anywhere else.

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I am a nigger.

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A Muslim walks out of a bar... Because he doesn't drink alcohol

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

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What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

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why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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What happens when you mix a black guy and a chinese guy. A disfigured man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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