what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

Busted? What the hell is going on?

why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

If u wanna get high, smoke weed

Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

baskets

How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

Please spell dyslexia.

Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

What do you call a gay lion tamer. It depends on their name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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