Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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5

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops