Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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Busted? What the hell is going on?

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What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

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why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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