Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

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there are rumors about monkeys liking bananas but that is a common misconception because if you take bananas divided by elephant times chalkboards you find that they like 0.9 lead from pencils that is aged from 1927

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What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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i have yougurt with tractor

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whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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Roses are red violets are blue I would test our new water bed so be carefull with your helled shoe!

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If you don't get this joke, you're gay.

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Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

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Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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