How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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Why the he'll are there moths in the universe? It makes no sense. Where dies an annoying ass buzzing and flying price if isht ever help me?

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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Christians pornstars.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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I have a crush on my dad.

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

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What did the unappreciated YTPer say in the comment section of Nyan Cat? "PLEASE CHECK OUT MY YTP'S! I'M BEGGING YOU! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!! WHY?!!! Q_Q"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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