Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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