A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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No. Yes.

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THE GAME

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What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

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A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

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What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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What happened to the little kid who went surfing? Answer: he gOt eaten by a shark

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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