What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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69

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls to Santa

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Iggy Azalea

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

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A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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