Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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I'm a like whore

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops