A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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ecks! why zee?

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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