Mrs. Welsh

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you do when a taco eater eats your food? Beat him with the nearest black man's dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Soccer...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I love watching pom Get your minds out of the gutter

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than being a jew in the holocaust Being born black

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops