A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

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Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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five high school freshmen get into a car on a Friday.They are too busy looking forward to the weekend that they speed into oncoming traffic and all die in a horrible collision.

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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women's rights

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms Why did the boy drop his ice cream Because he was hit by a truck. and geuss who was driving the truck? The girl with no arms

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A Muslim walks out of a bar... Because he doesn't drink alcohol

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

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Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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Why was the man sad His son got raped

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What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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