- Anti Joke

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

whats brown and smells like shit shit

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"heavy breath, heavy breath

-2

A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

-4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

whats brown and smells like shit shit

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

a man walks into a prostitute.

What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

Roses are red, Violets are purple

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"heavy breath, heavy breath

A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

whats brown and smells like shit shit

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

a man walks into a prostitute.

What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

Roses are red, Violets are purple

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"heavy breath, heavy breath