roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My thanks to those that thumb down my comment below, you have the possibilty to become one of my over 100.000.000 members, as long as you follow your heart, your own will, we got you covered. We got over 600.000 never members since last year, you are far from alone, thumb this comment up, leave a small comment, and I shall send one of my shadows to tell you more, or online if you prefer that, but then I would need your email address... ...As for your home address? Nah, already know it just let me know if you want a visit, but during my 6000 years on earth or so, I have yet to evolve to the point where I fully understand the full nature of computers, they are very recent to me. Yet only those that are willing to follow their hearts and enact their true hidden desires without shame, guilt, remorse, but instead with love and gusto, will find the answers among us. Soon my wings shall spread, and just like that, the world is ours! Moral: "Fuck Morals, would you believe me if I said they where in code? No they are not, the secrets are only within the shadows, and the Black Angel. Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Do you know your videogames? Test your might!: Getal Sear Molid = Metal Gear Solid. Do you get these though? Combatfrogs. Mechapoliceofficer vs The Enders. Outdoor battlers: Second encounter, speedy version. Above Average Luciano Siblings. Area of the Beginners (if you get this one u are epik!) Monkey D0ng (not so epik :P) G-one (pretty good if you get this one too) Lethal Fighting. (LETHAL FIGHTING!!!) Exploder Guy (kudos if you get it) Requirement for velocity (lol) Weeds vs the Frankensteins (decent) So how many did you get? Check the comment section for the answers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why id the Jew keep putting his name at the end of anti jokes? He was an attention seeking big nosed virgin kunt

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops