What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous and could cause much harm if handled without prior knowledge of how to use them.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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whats woorse then being stupid? kaelynn... aka big head

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

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A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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