- Anti Joke

Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

You again? Well, ill answer again then. Ill be fine, I just got some wounds and got beaten into a coma which nobody was sure I was going to wake up from so details where hidden. As for this Neo guy, I have no idea who he is and where he arrived from, but if he is gone, it wont matter. Lets just say I wont die from these wounds, some people disagree, but I have overcome far, far worse, so trust me, these guys told me I had two weeks to live about a month ago, and the doctor that was there at my birth told me I had two months to live and would never develop a consciousness... I digress and my japing mouth disagrees with his statement regarding my not being able to learn or understand fluid language, hah... ...As for you Golgo12 "some people deem me insane", id say most people do, except six million of them, and I do not plan to leave this realm just because my lifelong dream is set, there is still much to do, point zero is not exactly a nice place at the moment, but technology and money can do wonders, we soon plan to expand things. Sorry everybody else, I am too tired to answer anything, id say something sooner, but I officially beat the record of 11 days without sleep by not being able to sleep for 14 days, and then I raged when I read you need to hold on for at least six weeks on valium if you want to quit cold turkey. Technically docs say I am on 30 mg, but fuck I can handle 20 just fine... Cant say the same about none. Ill gladly share more details, but if I cant sleep soon, the damn pain will keep me awake all night long... Besides I am hungry... Which is good, my nurse (Alice is damn cute lucky me) was concerned about me refusing to eat, thats over... Oh yeah the details, I got some burns (lets not go into details, lets just say that for you that call me pretty face, this is no longer the case) They shattered my knees, but my kneecaps "broke on their own" (dad) when I was four, and you guys know I can run and all that. Except that they put some shit on my eyes before I broke free, but I managed to wash it away, so while I need some glasses until I see if laser surgery can fix my vision again (I doubt it, its not how it works) I will apparently be wearing glasses that Alice says makes me look "cute and nerdy" which to me sounds like Nerdy. Fine I got to eat, so if you have any more questions, feel free, and if Eliza got any more, I ask you guys let her go first, its not like "YOU ARE ALIVE?!? AGAIN?!" Is a question I need to answer to each of you rite? Well now or... Never (aka next week or something) so get moving...

Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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