What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. -sensored-

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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Woman's Rights

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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whats water and frozen? an ice cube

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

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Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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Hello Braydon

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops