Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the appropriate amount of medicine as directed by her doctor for her condition.

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What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

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A young man spent his summer as an intern at a school. He eventually became a real estate agent but it was a pretty cool experience.

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... they sit down, have a deep and meaningful conversation about theism, and don't really drink anything.

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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A guy has cancer. He dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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whats 2+2? 4

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops