What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

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Niki Minaj's ass

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

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knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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