two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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where are you?

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops