When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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since when?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I saw a shovel once.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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This is an anti-joke.

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

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Why'd Katie fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. -sensored-

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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Woman's Rights

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What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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