A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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Why did the man fall down? He got shot

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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Q: What's small and can't read? A: A candybar

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Please spell dyslexia.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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